Those We Leave Behind
by felicia.nicole.wilson
Summary: In the aftermath of the destruction of the BiFrost, ever faithful Sigyn struggles to maintain her standing in Asgard while trying to ensure that history does not repeat itself.
1. Chapter 1

"Loki!" Sigyn screamed as the Bifrost exploded around him. The shock wave threw her backwards, sending her tumbling head over heels. She struggled to regain her footing as the realm quaked around her.

"Loki!" she cried out again, running as quickly as her trembling legs would carry her towards the shattered end of the bridge. She gasped in surprise as a strong arm caught her around the waist and lifted her into the air. Her feet kept trying to run almost as if by instinct.

"Heimdall, let go of me! I have to make sure he's alright," she yelled, struggling in vain against his grasp.

"I can not, Lady Sigyn. It is unsafe," answered stoically, "Not only for yourself, but also for the child."

"What?" she yelped indignantly, still fighting to free herself from him.

"I see all who reside in the nine realms," he replied, "Even those so newly conceived."

Sidyn was still reeling from Heimdalls' revelation, when to figures began to emerge from the aftermath of the Bifrost's destruction. As the figures came into view, she could easily make out Thor and Odin approaching them, but there was no sign that Loki was with them. She looked pleadingly at Heimdall, who finally released her.

"Where is he? Where is Loki?" she called, rushing towards them. The look on their faces stopped her dead in her tracks. Her heart plummeted and her head spun.

"Where is he!?" she demanded once more, knowing full well what the answer would be, but daring to hope that she was wrong.

Odin said nothing and refused to meet her gaze. He walked past her shaking his head and mumbling forlornly to himself. She looked to Thor for her answer, still refusing to believe what her very soul was telling her.

"I am so sorry, Sigga," he said defeatedly, "He...he let go."

"No," she whispered in disbelief, "No!"

Anger, sorrow, and resentment welled within her simultaneously, all fighting for her attention. She felt as though she were outside of her own body watching as she gave in to her conflicting emotions and charged at Thor. She beat her fists into his breast plate as she sobbed. She knew she could not hurt him, yet she wanted nothing more than to do so.

"No!" she screamed at him, desperately trying to get a rise out of him, so that she would not be the only one is such great pain," You did this! You let him fall! He wouldn't leave me. Not like this!"

Thor stood still as he let her pummel him until she had exhausted herself. Finally she slumped against him weeping. Without a word, he carefully lifted her into his arms and carried her back into the safety of Asgard.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been nearly a fortnight since the destruction of the Bifrost and the loss of Loki. Sigyn had made no effort to see either Thor or the Allfather in that time. She had barely allowed Frigga to enter the chambers she and Loki had once shared, but she knew the Queen of Asgard was not known for taking no as an answer on such things. The truth of the matter was that they each needed the other for comfort as they mourned the man they both loved, one as mother and the other as wife.

Sigyn had told no one of what Heimdal had said to her that night. She instead sent privately for the midwife to confirm what he had told would not be long before she would have no need to actually tell anyone of the pregnancy, her growing belly would do that for her. She wondered how those around her would react and what rumors would be spread. She decided it would not be worth the Allfather's wrath for him to find out through hearsay. She feared going before him alone, however, and knew she would need an ally when the time came. Thus she found herself gently rapping on the door to Thor's chambers late one evening.

She was surprised by his appearance when he opened the door. He was disheveled and unkempt. His eyes were red and swollen from tears like her own. The room behind him had clearly not been tended to in several days. She suddenly felt guilt rising within her. He had been mourning as much as she had, and she had left him alone in his grief.

"I'm sorry I did not come sooner, she said before she could catch herself.

Thor smiled weakly and motioned for her to enter. She followed him and found that his rooms were in much worse shape than she had first realized. Broken furniture and torn tapestries littered the floor. He made no apology for the state of his living space, nor did he have to. If she had the strength to do such things, she would have.

"Would you like a drink?" Thor asked, pouring himself a mug of mead from the pitcher on the side table.

"No," she answered a bit too emphatically. "I came to apologize for my actions on the night the Bifrost was destroyed," she continued quickly, hoping he would not question her about her refusal of the drink.

Thor sat in one of the heavy armchairs next to the fireplace and nodded for her to do the same. Normally she would have sat at the edge of the chair to maintain her posture as a sign of her position. This evening, though, she didn't care. She wasn't even sure what her position was now that Loki was gone. She slumped into the chair trying to make her self as physically comfortable as possible for the uncomfortable conversation that was about to begin.

"There is no need to apologize," Thor said, "That night was difficult for all of us. I imagine more so for you given Heimdall's words."

Sigyn's breath caught in her throat. Thor already knew. Heimdall had told him. She had not asked Heimdall to keep it to himself, but still, she had thought he would. Who else had he told? Is that why Frigga had been so insistent on seeing her. If so, why had she not said anything to her about it?

Thor could tell that Sigyn's mind was racing. He had not meant to be so brusk with her. He simply wanted her to understand that he harbored no ill-will towards her over what had occurred.

"He is worried about you," Thor explained, "He wanted me to know so that I could better watch over you as Loki asked."

"He asked you to watch over me?" Sigyn asked tentatively. She was eager to know what had transpired that night in the hope that it would bring her some peace. She also knew it would force her to relive the moment of his death.

"Yes," he responded, "Before he let go of Mjolnir, he proclaimed your innocence in all of his actions and asked me to make sure you were cared for." Thor paused, unsure of how to continue without upsetting Sigyn further. "Did he know about the baby?" he finally asked.

"I didn't even know," she told him solemnly. Something was nagging at her that she did not want to admit. She had been Loki's bride for well over a century. There had been many, many opportunities for them to conceive a child. She had asked him about it often in the early years of their marriage. He had always told her that there was plenty of time, millennia, in fact, for them to start a family and as soon as the time was right she would be the first to know. She had questioned him less and less on the matter over the years. He had brought it up when Odin had announced Thor would be taking the throne of Asgard. She had hoped it was sign that he was ready to tame his ways and settle into a comfortable life with her. She now realized that she had never been so wrong in her entire life. She couldn't help but wonder if this had been his plan all along, and if so, what were his motives? To leave her with the child she had always wanted, the last piece of him she could hold in her arms? Or was his plan to simply continue finding ways to torment the Allfather?

"Did he love me?" she suddenly blurt out, turning her gaze to watch the flames dancing in the fireplace to hide her impending tears.

For the first time in a long time, Thor found himself truly speechless. His heart ached at the idea that the woman he had come to know and love as his sister doubted that she was loved by the man to whom she had promised her heart. He did not know how to answer her. His brother had been known not only for his many tricks and illusions, but also his notorious appetite for all things lustful. Thor knew he could be nothing but honest with her. He doubted that it would be any consolation to her, however.

"My brother was not perfect by any definition of the word," Thor said softly, taking Sigyn's hands in his reassuringly, "But if I know anything about him, I know that he loved you. Never doubt that."


End file.
